Hello World

These lyrics come from Lady Antebellum's new song Hello World:

Hello World 
All the empty disappears 
I remember why I'm here 
Just surrender and believe I fall down on my knees 
Oh Hello World, Hello World, Hello World

Some of you know that 18 yrs ago we lost a daughter at birth. She was stillborn after 9 perfect months of pregnancy and it changed me. I had been raised in church, was saved at 13 yrs old and believed in God with all my heart and soul. After losing my daughter, I questioned God, wanted to know why her, why us, just why?? I never found a good enough reason to those questions, so I became angry and doubtful. Very angry. Years passed and I fought with my faith and belief daily. I had come to the conclusion that God doesn't take babies and make their parents and their siblings suffer such an inconsolable loss...so is there really "this great wonderful place in the sky with a God that will welcome his believers in the end?"  Surely this great all-mighty God would not have taken my daughter away before she was even born. I battled with my emotions, my faith, my hope, my fears, my peace of mind for the past 18 yrs...

Then came Trace's cancer diagnosis in August and my world completely fell apart. I was convinced there was no God. No possible way that I was being faced with the possibility of losing another child?? Then on the other hand, could it be that I was being punished for my questions, doubts and wondering over the past years. All these people were saying "I am praying for Trace, God will heal him". All I could think was --"if you only knew how I really feel about God". It was weird, because I didn't find myself always praying to God, but talking to my daughter, pleading with her to take care of her little brother, to be with him during his surgery. I didn't think He would take care of me or Trace because I had doubted and turned away many years ago. Why would He?

Well, I have my answer in the other room playing with his LEGOs, and arguing with his sisters. He a walking miracle, a result of the power of prayer, of hope, of love. A result of God's healing. His 1st pathology showed incomplete margins on the tumor which means the tumor was cut into and there was some left. His 2nd pathology showed absolutely no cancer, none, none, none. It was all gone before the surgery was performed.

So, in as much that the death of my daughter changed me 18yrs ago, the miraculous healing of my son is in a sense "changing me back."  I'm starting to feel IT again, feel the love, feel the peace, finding my faith once again.

This morning, Sunday November 7, Lady Antebellum's new song and video came on TV and the lyrics summed up what I have been feeling. 

Hello World
All the empty disappears
I remember why I'm here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh Hello World, Hello World, Hello World

Hello World by Lady A

Traffic crawls
Cell Phone Calls
Talk radio screams at me through my tinted window
I see a little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, and she waves at me, yeah she smiles at me.

Well Hello World
How you been?
Good to see you my old friend
Sometimes I feel, Cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope in a little girl, Well HELLO WORLD

Everyday I drive by a little white church,
its got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in, say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like he is there
Oh I know he's there, Yeah I know he's there

Well Hello World
How you been?
Good to see you my old friend,
Sometimes I feel as Cold as steel
And broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, a little grace, little faith unfurl.
Well Hello World

Sometimes I forget what living's for, And i hear my life through my front door,
and I'll be there,
oh I'm home again
I See my wife, little boy, little girl, Hello World

Hello World
All the empty disappears
I remember why I'm here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh Hello World, Hello World, Hello World

Customized Little Black Dress and Shoes

I am all about saving a few dollars these days and it seems like every time I turn around there is another party/dance that Kelsi needs a "new outfit" for. Earlier in the summer we came across this cute little black dress at Target for $24.99 and thought it would be perfect for a future event. The shoes are the ones we bought in May for prom from JCP for I think $24.99.

Soooo...when the Homecoming Dance was announced, Kelsi decided she would wear that LBD, but she wanted some a color added to stand out. HMMM...which color??? She decided on turquoise and an altering and customizing we go. Off to the craft store I go and get ribbons in 2 different sizes. I already had the felt, pinback and decorative crystal accent.

First--the shoes. I cut 2- 12 inch piece of the larger 3/4 inch satin ribbon, 2- 12 inch piece of the smaller 1/2 inch satin ribbon. Other supplies--2 pin-backs, 2 black felt circles, 2 crystal accents, E-6000 glue and needle/thread.

I took the 3/4 inch ribbons and made a gathering running stitch along 1 side and gathered and twisted into a round ribbon flower shape, using needle/thread to tack the circles together on the back, glued on the felt backs, and sewed on the pin-backs. I then glued the crystal accents to the centers, you could also use pearls.

I then took the smaller ribbon and ran it through the T-strap in and out between the crystals and tacked it with needle/thread to the shoe straps. I then pinned each of the flowers at the bottom of the T-strap.

Isn't it just the cutest???  I then took a 3 ft piece of the larger ribbon and made the running gather stitch down the middle of the ribbon, gathered it all into an 18inch piece and attached it to the empire waistband of the dress.

She also customized her headband--it was a large feather headband from Forever 21 we got online for $2.99 and she wrapped the turquoise ribbon around the band. Can't really see it in her hair.

Total invested in something just for Homecoming Dance--$3 (ribbon). The ribbons are easily removed and the dress and shoes can be re-customized for another party.... and you always need a LBD.  :)

Check out these other great link-ups of DIY/Crafts

MD Anderson--Trip #5--Incision Check

We had our post surgery follow up appt last week and when they took off the steri-strips from the incision site, the part which has a "skin island" (a piece of skin they took off during surgery and then put back), was looking a little bluish instead of nice and pink. They told us to watch it over the weekend and if the skin starts getting darker that the "skin island" was not taking and could be dying. By Sunday night it was no longer pink and we decided to head back to Houston 1st thing Monday morning to have it checked out.

So I called as soon as the office opened at 7:30am and was told to come on over to have it checked out. We head out to Houston for a check-up and was back home around 8pm. The doctor was ok with the way it was healing, said it should scab over and peel off and be fine underneath. Clean often with peroxide and apply Bactroban twice a day were the orders.

Still looks yucky to me! :)

MD Anderson--Trip #4--Follow-up and........

It's been a long week waiting patiently for pathology results. Knowing that the enlarged lymph node they had found during surgery COULD indicate that the cancer had spread made it even harder.

The Physician's Assistant walked in and said..."everything is negative, nothing was found anywhere, in any of the tissue or lymph nodes". ALL GONE!!

CANCER FREE!!!!!

We were soooo relieved and thankful. So glad that we made the decision to go to Houston. The last 3 months seems like it has been 3 years.

July 14--Appt with pediatrician for lump in neck along jawline, sent for labs, ultrasound of area
July 15--Referral to surgeon to have mass removed
July 19--See surgeon with initial diagnosis of Branchial Cleft Cyst
July 29--Outpatient surgery with mass removed and sent for pathology
August 4--Get call from surgeon, told over the phone that is was cancer.
August 5--Follow-up appt and plan discussed for total parotidectomy at end of August
August 15-25--Made plans and contacted MD Anderson for referral due to intensive delicate surgical procedure involving the facial nerve.
Sept 2-3--Initial appts with surgeon, Dr. Stephen Lai at MD Anderson, labs, ultrasound, CT scans
Sept 23-24--Appts with Radiation Oncologist, Dr McAleer and schedule surgery with surgeon for Oct 15
Oct 15-18--Surgery on the 15th, hospital stay until the 17th, home to Louisiana on the 18th.
Oct 21--Follow-up to surgery---CANCER FREEEEEE!!!!!

MD Anderson--Trip #3--Surgery/Recovery in Pictures

Up early...at the hospital waiting to be called to pre-op

Called to pre-op, got the wonderful stockings and hat, then the IV

WOOT....great fashion wear!!

IV time, he dreaded this more than the surgery. This guy was so good, Trace never knew it was started. :)

Stewart and I with Trace

Being wheeled away.... and the waiting begins

After 7hrs of waiting......   :(   and   :)

Saturday, 1 day post-op, drain has been removed and oxygen taken off. Still in a lot of pain.

Sunday, 2 days post-op, so ready to get out of the hospital.

Around the hospital....taken while trying to find the pharmacy, took me a while, no one is around on Sunday afternoons.

Discharged!!! Headed to hotel for a few days...

Resting at the hotel. Well, watching TV and playing with LEGOs.

A little droopiness and crookedness to his smile and eyebrows.

Yep, the sisters are wrapped!!

It's best you don't ask.........  :D

Trying to eat some mac-n-cheese, hurts to chew. :(

Beautiful sunset, new beginning, sign of good news ( *it was, cancer free official on 10/21)