ODDS

Each and every school day, 46 children, more than two full classrooms of kids, are diagnosed with cancer in the US alone. More children die each year from pediatric cancer than from asthma,diabetes, cystic fibrosis, congenital abnormalities and AIDS combined.

On August 5, 2010, we unfortunately became part of that statistic. 1 out of 46, 2 out of 100....wow! Our little boy, Trace, was diagnosed with Cystic Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma of the Parotid Gland...a cancer of a salivary gland. Very very rare and extremely rare in a child.

First came the "why us", "why Trace", "haven't we been through enough heartache?", "will we lose another child?".

Then came the anger...and I am still angry. This is so not fair!! I want to stomp my feet, lay on the floor and beat the floor with my fists. I want to have a full out 2 yr old temper tantrum. Will it accomplish anything?? Probably not...but it may make me feel better.

I know this is all part of the grieving process--denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I know I am not grieving the "loss" of my child, but I am grieving the loss of his health, of his childhood, of his freedom to do whatever he wants to do when he wants to do it. He now has to endure lots of doctor visits, tons of needle sticks and tests, surgeries, and an unknown future.

One thing I know for sure, he will have me by his side for every single step of the way to make it as easy as possible.

I wish I could do this for him, take away his fear, his pain, his anxiety.

I wish I could promise it will be alright, wouldn't hurt and will all go away soon.

I wish we had never gotten this ugly diagnosis.

I wish there was no such thing as cancer in a child.